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intimid8: Best Coast - Sun Was High (So Was I) I went for a...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:29:51 -0400

intimid8:

Best Coast - Sun Was High (So Was I)

I went for a walk
watched the cars go by
the sun was high
I thought of you

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 22:29:03 -0400

syarini: Me this weekend

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:48:56 -0400

syarini:

Me this weekend

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:05:55 -0400

the-absolute-best-posts: kochamcie: Nerdy Nummies - Totoro...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:05:36 -0400

the-absolute-best-posts:

kochamcie:

Nerdy Nummies - Totoro French Macaroons [x]

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:05:03 -0400

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:04:45 -0400

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Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:04:34 -0400

“I don’t think I have a lot in common with her [Cassie] in...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:04:18 -0400

“I don’t think I have a lot in common with her [Cassie] in terms of - I don’t having an eating disorder, suicidal tendencies or the same home life she does… where her parents are kind of mad, basically. I think that I can identify with feeling vulnerable, or feeling lonely, or when you like a boy and he doesn’t like you. I can really feel that in common with her. I think she’s a really good character for teenage girls or even teenage boys, because she’s kind of an outsider, so she’s easy to identify with and feel passion for and empathy with and stuff.”

Love & Sanity

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 12:05:00 -0400

Could heartbreak destroy a person entirely?

I have this grandaunt who is known to be batshit loco around our familial circles, & once upon a time she took care of me. Although she was rather fond of me, she dumped all of her emotional baggage onto myself as a child. But this post is not about me.

Recently, while I was on a road trip in Malacca with my immediate family, my mother started telling us about her marriage to Ahmad Jais. The name might sound familiar to Malays with traditional families, as he was a rather popular singer back in the 70s. It’s a classic plot out of a film. She was a young 18 year old fangirl who was head over heels over the crooning star, & she tried all means & ways to get to him. Singapore isn’t very big therefore it wasn’t that difficult to get his attention.

So this guy was in his late twenties right. Or was it early thirties? Either way, it was an age that I made a face at. It was a pretty wide age gap. My grandaunt was quite a knockout back then & it got his attention. She invited him to be a wedding singer at one of her sibling’s wedding & he came & they met. They hit it off & started dating, I suppose.

Not too long after they got hitched, then she got pregnant. When she gave birth, there were some complications & she had to stay at the hospital while the baby was brought home. When this happened, for some reason I guess he got stressed out, & I think throughout the pregnancy there had been tension between him and his mother-in-law (my greatgrandmother). Obviously a newborn baby would cry and be very unsettled without her mother around, but this guy was at his wit’s end & did crazy things like tie the baby down & rub Vicks all over her body.

His mother-in-law intervened, of course. They argued & argued, all this while the baby’s mother was recuperating & clueless at the hospital. Also, still very much in love to the point of worship with Ahmad Jais.

Somehow, it came to a point where he couldn’t take whatever it was anymore, so he just packed up his things & left. Without a word to his wife, without a thought for his first baby. That was the last of him.

When my grandaunt came back, her world was so absolutely shattered & she was utterly bewildered. She had been so.. clueless. Something inside her snapped, & she locked herself inside the room, & didn’t give a damn about her baby. Rooms back then couldn’t be opened with a key, so nobody knew what was going on inside. For days she imprisoned herself without eating or even going to the toilet.

When she finally let herself out, she was a shadow of a person. Still on post-natal medication, she would climb up & down the hill 7-8 times a day just to get to a phone line to plead to Ahmad Jais to come home. My 10 year old mother would be her companion while all this was happening, & she would help to carry the baby up & down as well.

My mother: “She would just call him and cry, Abang balik lah abang, baliklah.. & then put down the phone. After an hour she would climb down again to call & say the same thing.”

Her own mother even asked people to ‘fix’ her by questionable ways, just to get her back to how she used to be.

As my grandaunt, I remember her as a wildly jealous, nasty person, & only now do I understand where it could have stemmed from. She used to be ridiculously jealous of my older brother when he was a child (she doesn’t like little boys, this I don’t know why) cosying up to her young adult daughter, & what was more ridiculous is that she would guilt trip me into disliking my own parents. She wanted me to love her only.

I also remember once she showed me this little booklet she had of Ahmad Jais. It had newspaper cutouts of him with paparazzi shots of them together, & also whatever news of him long after their separation. When I think about it, it really is extremely sad. She pined for her idol, her husband, & he just slipped away without so much a goodbye.

I don’t talk to her now because it really is extremely hard not to tread on her toes when talking to her. She is really emotional & she says a lot of cutting words, but I remember her as my guardian & we had a good time together once upon a time.

Ahmad Jais has passed, & I don’t know how she took it when the news broke. She had a string of failed relationships but is now married, & I really do wish her the best. She was a naive girl with a heart brimming with hope & love, & the dreams she did achieve crumbled so easily.

Here is a song by the Dato’ Ahmad Jais, which Herianti, his ex-wife once understood so heartbreakingly.

Harapan untuk bersama

Mendirikan istana asmara

Berpadu kasih erat dan setia

Kiranya tak terlaksana

"I longed for him. And he disgusted me."

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:46:03 -0400

“I longed for him. And he disgusted me.”

- Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber

via foxesinbreeches (via frenchtwist)

exceptdissent: guerrillamamamedicine: mostmediocreblogever: I...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:42:54 -0400

exceptdissent:

guerrillamamamedicine:

mostmediocreblogever:

I Am A God Kanye West

oh shit. I am here for this. yes.

YES YOU ARE.

Spiffy. I want those pants on the left.

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:38:57 -0400

Spiffy. I want those pants on the left.

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Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:36:47 -0400

It’s so hard to get a good quality version of this cover,...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:41:06 -0400

It’s so hard to get a good quality version of this cover, but this is the song (in this exact version - there are many) that got me through a heartache once upon a time.

Stumbled upon it because I thought it was Janis Joplin & Bob Dylan, but apparently it’s Joan Baez & Dylan. Still works. Dylan’s twangy voice just gets me every time.

A lover for your life an’ nothing more,
But it ain’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe,
It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe

At Down Under - Sweet Steamed Dumplings

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:31:40 -0400

At Down Under - Sweet Steamed Dumplings

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Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:29:12 -0400

dynamicafrica: Photos of South African women protesting in the...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:27:58 -0400

dynamicafrica:

Photos of South African women protesting in the streets against the Apartheid government.

1980s.

Read more about the critical roles women played during the anti-Apartheid struggle.

Marlene Dietrich by Mercedes Acosta

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 11:27:36 -0400

Marlene Dietrich by Mercedes Acosta

courageisgraceunderpressure: Exploded flowers (by fong qi wei)

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 11:24:24 -0400

courageisgraceunderpressure:

Exploded flowers (by fong qi wei)